Training: Aids
Rumours surfaced at the recent National Masters Championships of a highly effective and virtually undetectable performance enhancing substance that many believe to be entirely responsible for the glut of records and personal best performances witnessed in Sheffield.
The new substance, known as ‘training’ has been scientifically proven to enhance swimming performance, but currently remains completely undetectable in both urine and blood tests.
‘There have definitely been murmurs in the changing rooms about this.’ said one swimmer on condition of anonymity. ‘I’ve heard people say that they are doing it six or seven times a week and that they’ve never swum faster’.
‘It’s just unethical.’ the informant complained. ‘I mean how are we supposed to have a level playing field if some people are doing “training” so much? I’d much rather just spend £99 on an LZR, then it’s all above board’.
