- Nails: Painted
The Japanese Swimming Federation has announced a strict new code of conduct that could see swimmers barred from the national team for dyeing their hair, wearing an earring or painting their nails.
“We have had many recent controversies with marijuana in sport and universities and this is about swimming taking a stand” said Masafumi Izumi of the Japanese Swimming Federation.
The policy, which is intended to clean up the image of the international team, will also see Japan’s swimmers disciplined for sneaking into each other’s rooms at night – a practice known as ‘going on tour’ in the UK.
However, Mr Izumi was unable to confirm whether other important swimming traditions such as midnight feasts, copious public nudity on the team bus and giving each other ‘wedgies’ would also be outlawed.
In response, the British Swimming National Performance Director said “Hi! I’m Michael Scott! While we can see the merit in Japan’s move we have no plans to implement such a policy.”
“Britain’s swimmers used to lead the world in the party animal stakes before Bill Sweetenham and all of his so-called professionalism.” he added. “We want to be number one again and a policy like Japan’s would set us back against this goal immeasurably. Party on!”
