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Roof: Inflatable

In a surprise move it has been reported that the water polo venue for the 2012 London Olympics will feature an inflatable roof.

The plans are said to have been approved by the Olympic Delivery Authority and will ensure that the 5,000 spectators will not have to brave the elements if they choose to attend matches outside of the four days of sunshine that London is allocated each August.

The roof itself will be constructed from recycled PVC cushions and will be disassembled after the games and re-located elsewhere – news that will no doubt delight all those organisations desperately searching for an inflatable roof made out of recycled PVC cushions.

This is not the first time that overhead cover has raised eyebrows in the run-up to an Olympics. Ahead of the aquatic events at the 2004 Athens games it was announced that plans for a roof over the competition pool had been abandoned, a situation FINA described as a ‘fiasco’.

Plans for a paper-mâché flume and a balsa wood wave-pool remain as yet unconfirmed.

Deep-fried Mars Bar: Work, rest and play?

It has been announced that Britain’s swimmers will undertake their last training camp before competition begins at a home Olympic Games in Edinburgh.

In a statement from the Amateur Swimming Association of Swimming Federations of Great British Swimming (ASASFGBS), it was announced that the squad will ‘utilise [sic]‘ the Royal Commonwealth Pool in the Scottish capital, leaving open intriguing possibilities as to what they might ‘utilise’ it for – other than swimming.

National Performance Director Michael Scott certainly thinks it offers the best way to finalise preparations.  ‘Hi! I’m Michael Scott! We’ve done an exhaustive search to identify the best possible environment for our camp.’ he said, before adding ‘Round the clock access to Scotland’s historical and cultural centre along with bag piping, midges and deep-fried Mars bars will all contribute to a successful Olympic campaign. Bang! And the sun is gone!’

One prospective team member, speaking anonymously, said ‘It’s a great choice. I’ll be able to get my daily Buckfast more easily’.

It is not yet certain exactly how exhaustive a search was conducted or if any 50m pools closer to London could be found.

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Petting: No

One in six British adults has urinated in a public swimming pool, according to survey conducted by leading research agency YouGov in partnership with The Wobbly Block.

The finding comes after survey respondents were given a list and asked to select all the things they had ever done in a public swimming pool.  While 17% admitted  to having urinated in a pool, this was greater than the 14% who have violated the famous ‘No Petting’ rule and passionately kissed someone.

Other rule breaking behaviour included nearly half of adults (47%) having entered a pool without showering first, one in six (17%) had run on poolside and just over one in ten (11%) had dived in without knowing how deep the water is. One in 20 (5%) even admitted to smoking.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the 17% British figure is exactly the same as the result found in a recent survey conducted in the United States on the same subject.

Colin Brown, director of London Swimming and a watersports aficionado, unfortunately had no comment to make.

You can show your support (or not) on the issue via the Wobbly Shop.

Who da Fran: Halsall

The British team are returning from the European Swimming Championships in Budapest with a record haul of medals.

With concentration split between events in Hungary and the Commonwealth Games some competitor’s focus was said to lie elsewhere with rumours of some being fully prepared and tapered while others were not. However, none of this prevented the swimmers bringing home the largest number of medals ever won by Britain at a European Championships.

In total 18 medals were won, including six golds. Only the French and Russians won more gold medals, with only the former taking home a greater medal total.

The gold rush began on the first day with Hannah Miley winning in the famously-easy 400m individual medley and lasted until the final day when the women’s 4×100m medley relay were awarded gold for the third successive championships after the Russians were disqualified.

With five medals, Liverpool’s Fran Halsall lead the team in terms of personal medal haul, including gold in both the 100m freestyle and as part of the medley relay team. Amongst the other British champions were Lizzie Simmonds and Gemma Spofforth who won gold and silver in the 200m backstroke before reversing positions in the 100m backstroke.

The domination of the British women in the backstroke events has lead many to suggest their rivalry means they are destined to become the Steve Ovett and Seb Coe for a new generation. Only female. And in a swimming pool.

Britain’s National Performance Director said ‘Hi! I’m Michael Scott! It’s been a great week of swimming . . . We come out of this meet with a great sense of confidence moving forward. Bang – and the Euros are gone!’

‘Bring on the oasis!’ added Sharron Davies, later blaming predictive text for her cryptic messages.

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