What is the big idea (behind this site)?

The overall aim of the site is to produce nothing less than Britain’s definitive swimming-themed satire website.

To achieve this goal we have assembled a double-act to rival Cannon & Ball, Hale & Pace, Parrack & Gordon, even Moorehouse & Jameson.

We both felt about the British Swimming website the same way we felt about the film Sophie’s Choice. Sure it’s okay, but it needs more jokes. The addition of crass and infantile input from UptheBeavers solves the problem with subtlety and decorum.

What is Masters Swimming?

Some years ago FINA, the world governing body for swimming, introduced a category of competitive swimming open only to masters with the emphasis on fun and fitness.

Initially masters were defined as anyone with a Fédération Internationale des Échecs rating of 2300 or more. However, when this proved largely unhelpful the definition was expanded to anyone aged over 25.

In subsequent years British Swimming has enlarged things even further with the inclusion of anyone aged 18 years or older.

This provides continuity from senior level, age-group or BUSA swimming to masters.

Is it still possible to subscribe to your site?

Yes, providing you have an RSS reader. Simply click on the RSS button in the top right hand corner and follow the instructions.

What is the best browser to use to view your site?

A web browser.

Is it still possible to read the old UptheBeavers articles?

Yes. The entire unedited UptheBeavers archive is still available to view here.

Who is your all-time favourite swimmer?

We have always admired Sharron Davies. She did some really amazing things at international competitions, sometimes in the pool too.

Who are your comedy influences?

The main influence over the site comes from titans of comedy The Krankies. We absolutely loved them when we were younger. However, it was discovered three weeks ago that the old guy is married to the schoolboy. At The Wobbly Block we are passionate supporters of same-sex marriage, but that’s a big age difference. Maybe that is how they do things in Scotland?

Are your available for media work?

Yes. Members of The Wobbly Block team are available for media work. Previously members of the team have appeared on the BBC Six O’Clock News, the BBC News Channel, ITN, Channel 4 News and MSNBC.

I am the funniest person I know, and the third funniest person I have ever met. Can I contribute something to the site?

Yes. We are always on the look-out for some good content to boost the site. As the saying goes, if you can’t be good, be careful. More specifically though, if you can’t be good, start you own blog.

And as Ivor’s mum says ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t saying anything at all’, but then she has never understood him.

Have the people from The Wobbly Block written anything else?

Contributors to The Wobbly Block have previously written for The Swimming Times, The Rockall Times, Platform 10 and The Journal of Elections, Public Opinion, and Parties.

And one of us even got a name-check on the Kermode Uncut blog.

Do you have any other ideas for future additions to the site?

The next step is to set up our own dedicated TV channel. We have already purchased the studio and necessary equipment, but unfortunately the only coverage Sky would provide was sharing time with Ocean Finance on channel 888. Until we receive a better deal the plans are on hold.

We would also like to add Rabbi Lionel Blue’s Guide to Competitive Swimming, but that is going to take some more time.

Can I book you to come and speak at my event / birthday party / wedding / christening / bar mitzvah / funeral?

Yes. Members of The Wobbly Block team are available for personal appearances and our rates are very reasonable.

I find some of the content of this site deeply offensive.

Tough shit.