Some of Britain’s top swimmers have been warned about endorsing brands via their personal twitter accounts.
Respected academic periodical The Daily Mail has reported that some celebrities, including many of Britain’s aquatic Olympians, mention individual brands without confirming that they are being paid, either in cash or gifts, by the specific companies involved.
This practice, ‘deceptive advertising’, while common across the internet, is technically against the law and has already been the subject of warnings from the Office of Fair Trading.
In light of these warnings, The Wobbly Block has taken the decision to abandon all its philanthropic plans for gifts in the run-up to the Games, so as not to cause any difficulties for our potential medallists. Dame Rebecca Adlington will no longer be receiving 28 miles of standard-gauge Wobbly Block railway track and Liam Tancock will have to do without 25 Wobbly Block Siamese fighting fish.
Anyone looking to purchase 28 miles of standard-gauge railway track (including sleepers) or over two dozen Siamese fighting fish (not including aquarium) should contact @wobblyblock via twitter.
After 183 years of waiting, a swimmer has finally triumphed in The Boat Race.
Rowers, the sworn enemies of swimmers, have been successful in each of the previous 157 outings, but on this occasion Trenton Oldfield, a 35 year-old from east London, emerged from the Thames victorious.
Teams from Camford and Oxbridge had valiantly battled through the heats and the qualifying rounds to make final of this year’s contest and both had high hopes of winning.
Many experts believed that Oxbridge’s team of Americans and Australians in their late twenties studying eight-year courses in Aquatic Self-Propulsion might have the edge over Camford’s team of Australians and Americans in their late twenties studying nine-years courses in Targeted Hydrodynamics.
However, it was Oldfield, representing the London School of Economics and the one person who did not need a boat, who will be taking home the plaudits.
Speaking after his triumph to fans, journalists and the Metropolitan Police, Oldfield said that he hoped to use his success to boost interest in his recently-published manifesto.
The degree to which he succeeds in this aim remains to be seen, but given the ease with which he achieved his position and the publicity he has attracted, it is likely swimmers will become an annual fixture at the Boat Race in future.