Evans: Above

An Australian man is being sued by Speedo after they arbitrarily declared that his bisexual, sex-fetish swimwear website was somehow not in keeping with the image the company wished to portray.

The Sydney Morning Herald has reported that New South Wales resident Dave Evans was contacted by the swimwear firm as a result of a number of websites he has created, including his spectacularly family-unfriendly AussieSpeedoGuy.net blog.

The company claim that the 24 year-old, who describes himself as having a ‘thing’ for Speedos, is guilty of trademark infringement and that it is seeking ‘protect the substantial and valuable reputation and good will associated with the name and trademark Speedo’ from the websites, many of which feature Speedo-themed pornographic activity.

In his defence Mr Evans claimed ‘They have been a major part of my sex life and sexuality’.

Fans of the site were also vociferous in their support, with one telling The Wobbly Block ‘He just set up a website showing a couple of good-looking blokes in Speedos – it’s not as if he’s a middle-aged woman who got caught having sex with a dog’.

Colin Brown, Director of London Swimming and an expert in internet pornography, unfortunately had no comment to make.

In need of a hand: Sun Yang

Concerns have been raised over the fitness of Chinese world swimming champion Sun Yang after one of his bionic arms malfunctioned.

At the World Aquatic Championships in Shanghai the 19 year-old recently broke Grant Hackett’s 1500m world record, previously the longest-held world record in swimming.

It has been suggested that the last 100m of that race, swum in 54.22, may have lead to the subsequent malfunction during a training session. The final 50m, completed in under 26 seconds, is thought to have been particularly demanding on the new, largely-untested technology.

There are concerns that some of the swimmer’s other cybernetic enhancements may now also fail, but the Chinese authorities have insisted all the remaining bionic technology is operating ‘within acceptable parameters’.

Sun has remained completely silent over the situation, but when asked what his goals were for 2012, he simply replied ‘Find Sarah Connor.’