Fordham: Future of swimming

Britain’s national swimming championships are looking to adopt many of the elements of darts events in an effort to boost their exposure.

The Amateur Swimming Association of Swimming Federations of Great British Swimming (ASASFGBS) is widely reported to be impressed by the huge amount of media coverage that the British Darts Organisation’s World Championships attract, despite displaying no discernible sporting attributes.

Tony Green, widely regarded as ‘the voice of darts’, has been recruited by the ASASFGB as announcer and will act as master of ceremonies at all future national events.  ‘I am particularly looking forward to the final of the ooooonnnnnneeeeee hhhhhhhuuuuuunnnnnddddrrrrreeeeddddd metres freestyle.’ said Green.

‘Lllllllleeeeeettttttt’s gggggggeeeeeeettttttt wwwwwweeeeeeettttttt!’ he rather predictably added.

Former host of ITV’s Bullseye, Jim Bowen was also set to play a key role, but he withdrew his support after discovering that swimming is no longer almost entirely dominated by middle-class white people.

Though some have decried the physical abilities of darts players, the likes of former world champion Andy ‘The Viking’ Fordham have defended the activity. ‘I think of myself as an athlete because I have been on Grandstand and I wear trainers.’ said the 48 year-old, completely convincingly.

Returning: Peirsol

Aaron Peirsol, widely regarded as one of the greatest backstroke swimmers in the history of the sport, has announced that he is to immediately return to competitive swimming.

The American’s return means he will be able to take part in the London Olympics in 2012 and defend his 100m Olympic backstroke title for an unprecedented third time. In all the 27 year-old has won seven Olympics medals, including five golds.

He will now join the likes of Australia’s Ian Thorpe and Britain’s own Steve Parry on the list of great swimmers who have returned to the sport.

It has been widely reported that Peirsol’s decision was made after calculating his chances of victory against Britain’s Liam Tancock at next year’s Olympics.

Retiring: Peirsol

Aaron Peirsol, widely regarded as one of the greatest backstroke swimmers in the history of the sport, has announced that he is to immediately retire from competitive swimming.

The American’s retirement means he will not be able to take part in the London Olympics in 2012 and defend his 100m Olympic backstroke title for an unprecedented third time. In all the 27 year-old has won seven Olympics medals, including five golds.

He will now join the likes of Australia’s Ian Thorpe and Britain’s own Steve Parry on the list of great swimmers who have retired from the sport.

It has been widely reported that Peirsol’s decision was made after calculating his chances of victory against Britain’s Liam Tancock at next year’s Olympics.