Council residents dying to heat local swimming pool

Fire: Come on baby heat my pool

A council has announced ingenious plans to use a local crematorium to heat a public swimming pool.

Redditch Borough Council in Worcestershire say the town’s crematorium could be used to provide the pool at the Abbey Stadium Sports Centre with heating, saving an estimated £14,000 a year while also helping to reduce carbon emissions.

Dying has been popular for many years with a wide range of celebrities such as Freddy Mercury, Princess Diana and Jade Goody, but this is thought to be the first time it has been used to directly aid aquatic training.

However, despite the celebrity endorsement, reaction to news of the plan has not been universally positive. ‘I think it’s a bit strange and eerie. I’m not comfortable with it at all and I think trying to save money due to the death of someone’s family member or friend is a bit sick.’ said Simon Thomas of Thomas Brothers Funeral Directors, clearly overlooking both the business and comedy value to be derived.

In contrast some residents were more open to the idea. ‘While I wouldn’t necessarily actively go out searching for dead people, sometimes the pool is really cold.’ said one local swimmer who will remain anonymous without a court order.