Archive for November, 2010


20 November, 2010

LATEST: Pool urinator offers swimmers opportunity to swim in his toilet

LATEST: Pool urinator happily offers swimmers opportunity to swim in his toilet


15 November, 2010

SUCCESS: 'Tipping the Velvet' synchro routine spectacularly fails to disappoint

SUCCESS: 'Tipping the Velvet' synchro routine spectacularly fails to disappoint


Porpoises serve purpose saving poor swimmer Van Dyke

Van Dyke: Dick

Van Dyke: Dick

Actor Dick Van Dyke has emphasised the need for people of all ages to maintain a strong standard of swimming after a not entirely credible near-death experience.

The Hollywood legend told WENN News that he fell asleep on his surfboard and awoke to find himself ‘out of sight of land’ and surrounded by fins circling him in the water.

Van Dyke, who it transpires is not actually a cockney, then rather unconvincingly claimed that the fins in question turned out to belong to a school of porpoises, who helped him to safety.

‘They turned out to be porpoises [and] they pushed me all the way to shore. I’m not kidding.’ kidded the 84 year-old actor. He did not elaborate on which songs the porpoises sang while conducting their good deed.

Both the porpoises and Colin Brown, director of London Swimming and a Dick expert, unfortunately had no comment to make.


10 November, 2010

DISAPPOINTMENT: Owner rather predictably replies that having a guitar-shaped pool 'rocks'

LET DOWN: Owner predictably replies that having a guitar-shaped pool 'totally rocks'