Amateurs: Woodward & Bernstein

Ivor Skrewkyk, creator and editor in chief of The Wobbly Block has accepted the position of website journalist for British Swimming after the role was advertised on the ASA website.

After finding the application online Skrewkyk immediately emailed details of his acceptance to the relevant officials at Loughborough. His communication arrived well in advance of the closing date, saving everyone the rigmarole of an interview process.

However, as news of the announcement broke, concerns were raised that the new role would mean the former UptheBeavers editor might not be able to maintain the variable level of quality output both visitors to The Wobbly Block had come to expect.

Reading from a prepared statement he set about addressing such fears. ‘It is the dream of every swimmer to compete at the Olympics, and if you cannot swim at the Olympics then certainly going to the Olympics is the next best thing. Even if you can’t actually go, writing about it comes a close third.’ said Skrewkyk, adding ‘Don’t worry – I can easily switch back-and-forth between the biting satire of The Wobbly Block and the anodyne tedium of the British Swimming websites.’

Anyone can show their support for Skrewkyk’s appointment by sending an email to the British Swimming human resources department.

Colin Brown, an expert in website content, unfortunately had no comment to make.

Wenlock: Down with the kids

Lord of the Rings Sebastian Coe has revealed the mascots for the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic games at a primary school in east London.

Wenlock, the Olympic mascot and Mandeville, for the Paralympics, are said to be fashioned from drops of steel used to make the stadium, though their rather cushioned appearance suggests this may not actually be true.

After an almost universally negative reaction to the logo for the London games, the head of the London Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (LOCOG) hoped that the mascots would be well received.

As part of the design process children and parents were involved in focus groups. However, initial responses from the press and public alike have suggested those groups may not have been that focussed after all.

The Times gave the mascots 11 out of 10 for ‘ghastliness’, The Guardian said they were ‘a long way from the spirit’ of the original Olympic mascot and, across the Atlantic, The Huffington Post simply asked ‘is it the worst ever?’

Even Canadians, usually so polite, have been sceptical about the designs, with CTV describing them as ‘as one-eyed alien Teletubbies that even 1970s-era Doctor Who fans would find embarrassingly cheesy’.

Despite this negativity LOCOG hope that the mascots will help bring in between 70 to 80 millions pounds in merchandising.