Burning: Suits

Many of the world’s top swimmers are set to attend the inaugural Burning Suit festival in recognition of the end of the synthetic swimsuit era.

The secret event begins on 31st December and marks the culmination of a period of technological advancement that has seen 255 world records fall since February 2008.

From next year strict restrictions on swimming attire are to be imposed by the sport’s governing body FINA – a decision that remains controversial in some quarters.

The event will culminate in a ceremonial burning of newly-banned swimsuits and, as a consequence, those attending have been sworn to secrecy over the location in an effort to avoid undue attention from local authorities, thousands of fans and irate sponsors.

‘What festival?’ furtively asked one double Olympic swimming champion from Britain who asked to remain anonymous.

It is as yet unclear if a similar festival will take place at the same time next year when the rules are changed again.

Davies: Ice queen

Olympic swimming silver medallist Sharron Davies is to compete in ITV1′s Dancing on Ice next month.

The 47 year-old medley specialist will be joined on the show by a range of household names including so-and-so from Coronation Street, whatshisname from Hollyoaks, the guy that used to be in Hollyoaks but left, the ugly one from Boyzone, the girl from Eastenders with no nose and Bobby Davro.

During the televised contest competitors take to the ice in an attempt to break bones in time to music. The touchingly hilarious, career-threatening escapades all take place under the watchful gaze of ice dancing legends Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean. Previous winners include international rugby player Kyran Bracken and sinister dwarf Ray Quinn.

Davies, the most recognisable double act in British swimming, has enjoyed a long and occasionally successful career in the  media since retiring from competitive swimming in 1994. Along with her poolside interviews during BBC swimming coverage, she has also performed a number of roles including presenting The Big Breakfast and appearing on Gladiators.