Ferry: Faster, much faster

A British female swimmer has successfully managed to beat the record for the slowest swim across the English Channel.

Jackie Cobell from Tonbridge in Kent took a massive 28 hours and 44 minutes to make the 21 mile crossing, nearly two hours slower than the previous record, set by Henry Sullivan in 1923.

After taking off from Shakespeare Beach in Dover, it has been calculated that the swim ended up covering 65 miles, more than three times the direct distance.

The 56 year-old mother of two has been in training for the event for up to 20 hours a week over the last five years. During this time she took the unusual step of going into hospital to have two shoulder operations and a gastric bypass, though not at the same time.

‘I’m a slow swimmer but I never dreamt I would be swimming for quite so long.’ Cobell astutely observed.

To date she has raised over £4,000 for the Huntingdon’s Disease Association and is still collecting donations.

There's only one: ASASFGBS

Britain’s national governing body for swimming is to relaunch as part of a streamlining process for the organisation of the sport.

For the sake of simplicity, the new organisation will combine all the different elements of the current governance structure, but under one all-encompassing umbrella.

The Amateur Swimming Association of Swimming Federations of Great British Swimming, or ASASFGBS for short, will remain based in Loughborough and will continue to be lead by chief executive David Sparkes.

However, it is hoped the unified structure will clear up some of the confusion surrounding the myriad of governing bodies currently in operation. As yet precise details remain unclear but a series of announcements are expected from the ASASFGBS headquarters over the coming weeks.

In the first such statement a spokesperson for the ASASFGBS said ‘Where there were previously four, or five, or something, now there is only one. One ASASFGBS to rule them all, one  ASASFGBS to find them, one ASASFGBS to bring them all and in the water bind them – and suchlike.’

Colin Brown, director of London Swimming and an expert in unity, unfortunately had no comment to make.

Sharp: Pat

Swimming world governing body FINA has announced that from next year a variety of new events will be available to masters swimmers in an attempt to boost participation in competitions.

There had been concerns that the ban on high-tech swim suits would mean a drop in the number of masters taking part in competitions as the opportunities for both records and personal bests were reduced. However, FINA’s introduction of a host of new longer-distance relays has ensured a number of new world and national records are up for grabs.

Following on from the success of 4 x 100m and 4 x 200m relays, January will see the introduction of a number of new events including the 3 x 50m individual limited medley, the 2 x 100m mixed doubles, the dressage and the 16 x 1500m squadron relay.

Acknowledging FINA’s aims, and in the first of a series of pre-emptive  measures, British Swimming has confirmed that this year’s national masters championship in Sheffield will include these new events. It was also announced that the weekend’s competition will be hosted by 1980s broadcasting legend Pat Sharp in a bid to boost participation.

Colin Brown, director of London Swimming and an expert in boosting participation, unfortunately had no comment to make.

Cameron: The puppy's next

The coalition government has announced that free swimming for the over-60s and under-16s in England is to be cancelled as part of wide-ranging cuts in public spending.

The initiative had been running for just over a year, but will now finish next month, saving the government an estimated £40 million.

Swimmers in Leeds were particularly badly hit as it was announced that work on the Holt Park Well-being centre and swimming pool will also be stopped.

Over 18 million free swims were provided by 261 local authorities as part of the scheme, but government research found that the vast majority of those swimming would have gone anyway, even if they had to pay.

Olympics Minister Hugh Robertson, who was a life guard from 1982 to 1995, said “With a crippling deficit to tackle and tough decisions to take, this has become a luxury we can no longer afford.”

‘First Last of the Summer Wine is cancelled, now this!’ said a representative from British Swimming in response. ‘Haven’t the over-60s suffered enough?’